Warning: grab a coffee, tea or better yet a Second Cup white mocha chiller and take a seat, this ride could be a long one!
I am the most unusual suspect. Never in a million years would I ever have expected to be going on a missions trip, let alone be excited by it. I grew up in a church where once a year we would have ‘missions day’ and a missionary would come to speak about what was going on in the world. I remember waking up those Sunday mornings over the years and trying to decide whether I was going to be ‘sick’ that day, because I was still in the mindset that church was all about me (what was I going to get out of it, how did I like the music, etc, etc), therefore missions was obviously completely irrelevant in my life. Then during university I drifted away from church (ie religion) and what was going on in the next province let alone overseas was of virtually no interest.
After my first treatment center for an eating disorder, I knew I needed to reconnect with the ‘higher power’ and get back to church. I ended up at Rexdale Alliance Church, where the service was certainly much different than what I had known growing up. Imagine my shock and dismay to find out that this church had a missions MONTH (February), not just a missions DAY!! Plus, at other times throughout the year missionaries would come to speak when they were home from furlough. Now, one would think if one was going to a Christian Missionary Alliance church denomination, one wouldn’t be overly surprised to find that there was a focus on missions, however that was not the case with me! Over the years, as I developed my relationship with Jesus (relationship vs religion), I found myself starting to look forward to those times when missionaries, most of whom RAC had sent out, would come and share what God was doing in the part of the world that He had called them to. Over many years, it got to the point that after a Saturday night service I would even start to feel a strange sensation of maybe even participating myself! But the next morning I would wake up and say, Lord , I would like to think that if you asked me to go overseas I would go...but please don’t ask me!! I wanted to be obedient, but I knew myself well enough at this point to know I didn’t want to go!
Fast forward to 2005, where I was ‘dragged kicking and screaming’ to India in order to train associates there, as the company I work for had decided to transfer some positions overseas through an outsourcing initiative. God spoke to me clearly through a service at RAC one wk before I left where I had this really loud ‘thought’ saying ‘Jan, I AM going to send you to India’. And there was even a tone to the thought, which made me think of it as something God was doing for me instead of something He was doing to me. I felt a huge burden lift off my shoulders, but I still was only thinking of ‘get in, do my job for 3 wks, and get out’. Well, 3 wks turned into 3 months, and I fell in love with India. It wasn’t just the country, it wasn’t just the friends I made (although it is very rare for me to go so deep with people in such a short period of time)...there was something more that I couldn’t put my finger on...there was a joy recaptured that didn’t make sense. As I look back now, it is starting to perhaps be more clear. I didn’t know what He was doing (so often the case!) but He did! Three months in India here, 2 mths there, and 6 wks last spring...not all the reasons I went were the right ones, but I did start to feel a pull to something else highly unexpected. I started to find myself wondering about working in an orphanage in India. Where did that come from?
I was never one of those girls growing up who just wanted to get married and have kids. While my sister was babysitting, I was in the barns helping dad feed the pigs. I didn’t even particularly like people all that much, to be honest. I loved my family and had one friend outside of my cousins until about grade 7, but other than that I was more content hanging out with our dog and the barn cats than I was with kids my own age. Growing up on a farm, I was what I consider to be a quintessential loner. Now, becoming an aunt changed things in a big way for me where kids were concerned (Jesus had already re-sorted my priorities where people in general were concerned- whole other story). My Father has taught me so much through Jenna and Luke, and I never knew you could love anyone as much as I love them, but still...my heart for kids had changed a bit, but not that much!
As I look back, I believe that in part these heart changes (for missions and for kids) were a direct result of a couple of prayers I started praying a few years ago. One, I asked the Holy Spirit to help me love my God better, because I knew there were so many ways (my thoughts, words, behaviours) that indicated I didn’t love Him enough, and not nearly as much as He deserved. As a result of this prayer, my heart for God and people (not surprising, knowing our God!) grew bigger. Secondly, I started praying that where the desires of my heart were not in line with the desires of His heart for me, that He would change the desires of my heart. I finally, finally started to get the fact that I don’t even know what I want half the time, let alone what I need, and I was getting tired of trying to figure it out. I believe those prayers set the stage for what He is doing in my life now.
Then, last September, I went to a conference at RAC that was organized by Lisa and her team. The topic was child sex slavery. Now, I’m not saying that I wasn’t in agreement that what is going is horrendous and needs to be stopped, but honestly this issue was not on my personal radar at all as far as getting involved. I got together with Lisa at lunch afterwards to tell her how much I had appreciated that day, because it was one of, if not the best conference I had ever been to (and I’ve been to a few!) and the next thing I know, I am booking a ticket to....
Cambodia: a nation torn apart by the Khmer Rouge from 1975-1979 (and that after a 5 year civil war), where 30% of the Cambodian population was massacred in the ‘killing fields’ and 90 % of the young evangelical Christian population was martyred or died in the huge concentration camp that the country then became. In attempts to re-establish some semblance of normalcy after the subsequent takeover by the Vietnamese communist party, much opportunity for corruption and crime ensued. One of the most atrocious results of the change in dynamics as the country tried to recover was the institution of the child sex slave trade. Best estimates indicate that 30 thousand Cambodian children are exploited in the sex trade and as many as one-third are less than 18 yrs of age. The Vietnamese population in Cambodia are a marginalized minority and some sources indicate that, as of 2006, close to 35% of Vietnamese families in Cambodia sell a daughter into the sex trade. Girls face discrimination from a young age, resulting in huge vulnerability.
Lisa will be leading us (Char, Genie, Hiroko, Brenda and myself) in walking alongside several ministries that are funded by the Ratanak Foundation, for which she is the representative for Toronto. We will be gone for just over 3 wks, from July 10- August 2. We will visit the killing fields, Tuol Sleng (a school converted to a prison specializing in torture during the reign of the Khmer Rouge) and connecting with several Christian organizations:
Rahab House: for the first 2 weeks of our visit we will be facilitating a vacation Bible school out of Rahab House, a converted brothel in the notorious town of Svay Pak just outside of Phnom Penh. Since none of us have ever been involved in VBS before, this will definitely be a stretching experience! We were asked to help out in this way by an organization called Aim for Asia, and the particular brothel that has been converted into Rahab House (an outreach center) is the same brothel that International Justice Mission rescued 37 girls from 5 years ago and was since shut down. We will be partnering with CEF (Child Evangelism Fellowship), who will be leading the Bible study portion in the Khmer language. We will be in charge of games, crafts and songs, plus field trips! Everyone loves field trips! The kids we will be ministering to are either at risk or have already been sold into active prostitution.
Daughters Cambodia: a partner of Ratanak, a ministry that provides healthcare, counselling, vocational training and literacy training for girls wanting to escape the brothels, in both an outreach and drop-in capacity. In fact, Daughters has begun church services for the girls, and have even invited the brothel owners (to date, 2 brother owners have attended and 14 girls were baptized at Easter).
ARC (Agape Restoration Center): an aftercare facility for girls who have been particularly abused; as the girls heal emotionally, physically and spiritually, some of them come back to Svay Pak to reach out to the kids of that village. We will be privileged to participate with them in their ministry.
Pastor Sok and Savy: pastors from the Cambodian church at RAC who support and train rural pastors in their native country.
Kim: a missionary sent out from RAC who runs a school for Vietnamese girls so that, with education, they will have options other than prostitution in order to secure a livelihood for their future.
Marie and Place of Rescue: Marie is a Saskatchewan grandmother who runs an orphanage in Cambodia and we will be attending the monthly birthday party to help, interact with the kids and show them the love of Jesus (although I suspect we will see as much of or more of His love through them).
As I was explaining about the trip in small group one night, one of the people in our group leaned forward, looked me in the eye and point blank asked me, ‘why are you going to Cambodia?’. Without even thinking, I replied ‘because Jesus is calling me’. There is no other reason I can give. It still boggles my mind a bit as to why now? why this? When I look at the whole thing from a human perspective, I have little if anything to offer as far as longer term work is concerned. These ministries need counsellors, doctors, lawyers, teachers…none of which I am qualified for. I can’t cook (my family can attest to this!), don’t play an instrument, am the least artistic person I know, etc etc. But I know that in God’s economy, that is irrelevant and I just need to be open to what He wants to do through me so that I don’t get in the way or talk myself out of anything ( for those times when I get like Peter and realize I’m walking on water and that shouldn’t be possible)!
I used to be afraid of what God would ask of me, and ironically my biggest fear was that He would ask me to be a missionary. Now I find myself looking at longer term missions possibilities and praying at times that He won’t leave me in North America! Now I would say I am more ‘afraid’ of missing what He has for me than I am afraid of what He will ask of me. But even then I know that there is no need to fear if I keep my accounts short with Him and stay connected because, although I have learned not to trust myself all that much, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can trust the Holy Spirit in me, and so it is He that I rely on to make sure I don’t miss the adventure. Will it be difficult at times? I expect so. Will there be tears at times? With me, that’s pretty much guaranteed. But I am so looking forward to this journey even though I have no idea where it will lead. Maybe I will go overseas, maybe He will have me stay here in Canada…I just don’t know, and 2 years ago that would have freaked me out. But now I am learning to be more at peace with watching and waiting (I have my moments, mind you!)
For anyone who would like more information about any of the ministries we will be connecting with, I have included some website links below.
www.ratanak.orgwww.aim4asia.orgwww.daughterscambodia.orgwww.aim4asia.org/test/: Rahab House (check out Joshua chapters 2 through 6 for the story of Rahab)
www.placeofrescue.comWe will also be blogging (for those of you who know me well, one can only imagine the technology issues that will result!), and so you can share the journey while we are there through
http://cambodiamission2008.blogspot.com/.
Specific prayer requests for those who would have time and be willing to pray for us would include:
· unity for our team members; in some of our preparatory reading, studies have shown that the number 1 cause for the failure of missions and missionary work is broken and strained relationships: pls pray that Jesus would always be first in our individual hearts and that His plans and purposes for this trip would always supersede our own agendas
· for receptive hearts in Cambodia, not only for the kids but also for the adult population of Svay Pak; that they might see the light of Christ shining through us and be attracted to Jesus.
· that through us, God would be powerful in encouraging those missionaries and Christian workers who we will be meeting, those who have dedicated their lives to reaching the people of Cambodia with the Good News
· that each one of us would go deeper in our relationship with our God; that through this trip we would be transformed more into the likeness of Jesus; that we would abandon ourselves to His plans and purposes, step out in faith where He asks us, be bold and courageous when we need to be and that we would have much to witness about when we return about His greatness, power and goodness.
· for protection, both physical and spiritual. There is great spiritual darkness in Cambodia, and we are very aware that we are walking into enemy territory! Pls also pray for physical protection and for our health; we are there for such a short period of time, and we all want to go hard for God.
Let the adventure begin!
Jan
